Lions and Tigers and Crocodiles, Oh My!

It's been a few days since I last checked in, however, my pace has slowed now that I've found some warm rays.  Florida has spoiled me with warm weather and thus no need for heating pads at bedtime (thank goodness). 

My first stop in the sunshine state took me to visit my Great Aunt Teddy and Uncle Ed who filled my stomach with more food than I had eaten in the past week!  Even talk about urine and bowel movements over Uncle Ed's medical treatments did not dissuade me from Aunt Teddy's fluffy pancakes...not really anyway.  After some most-needed hot - and flip-flopless - showers, I found myself on the road again (cue Willie Nelson).

Had I known I would be forced to drive through Miami on one of the mains strips, I may have second-guessed going further into Florida.  Five miles in twenty minutes while Honey teeters on stalling and Eyore shakes like a leaf due to the abundance of cars and people nearby is no small feat, let me tell you.  Yet after driving through the rough spots, the luxurious homes, and eventually the farmland, I finally made it to my first National Park at the tip of Florida.  It was here where I remembered to apply deodorant.  You know you're travelling alone when you only remember to put on deodorant after the smell of stress driving wafts through your nostrils.  I say stress driving because on major interstates like 95, when people start to follow behind me for over a mile or so I assume they're hoarding drugs.  I mean why else would anyone willfully go 55 mph on a 70 mph road if not to avert the police?

Anyway, I parked Honey on a grassy campground near the camp's lake and proceeded to take Eyore for a walk around said body of water.  I quickly realized, however, that crocodiles and snakes are prone to such marshy areas and thus began my speed walk around the muddy bank.  I thought: "Hmm maybe I can be a tracker and find some alligator poop, so I know not to go in that direction....wait does an alligator poop?  And if it does, what does it look like?  Wait do rattle snakes poop?  Oh lord, we're about to get eaten, digested, and excreted for some real rangers to find."  I was a bit irrational. 

With my fearful trek behind me, I woke up the next morning with the intent of sticking to the paved trails and picnic areas.  So Eyore and I went for a long walk mixed with intermittent work outs before setting out once again.  Except when I returned to the campground, a few of my fellow campers, who have been so sweet, told me that the government shut down in which case all National Parks were following suit.  As rangers drove around locking the bathrooms and showers, I began to regret not bathing the night before.  The trouble was, on a Saturday in Florida all other campgrounds are booked.  So I decided to stay another night for free (the perks of the government acting like children fighting over the purple crayon at recess).

Despite this pro, I really did need to go to the bathroom.  My comrades told me the gift shop was still open and was just three miles up the road.  Well I do need a bathroom and some postcards, so how bad can six miles roundtrip be?  Well it turns out the gift shop is three miles from the stop sign a mile up the road.  Okay so eight.  Okay.  So I'm at mile four, I've run out of water for Eyore (never packed any for myself),and I find out that my destination is now another mile and a half away.  A.K.A. 11 miles roundtrip.  Yikes.  So I walk a little ways before seeing a caution sign for the Florida panther.  Umm this is not how I want my trip (or my life) to end... Granted there are only six panthers in the park, but this is a small comfort.  And then I see it.

Okay, so it wasn't a panther, but it was an alligator (or very large crocodile)!  Nope.  Tap out.  Eyore and I hightail it out of there only to be followed by a family of black crows.  Now I'm thinking this a scene out of The Jungle Book and these crows are like the vultures in cahoots with the panthers and alligators and they're squawking because they know death is upon me.  Needless to say, when Eyore and I finally made it home after our 8+ mile walk, we collapsed into bed like we'd just emerged from a long day working in the mines. 

I can't wait to sleep.  And no, I didn't find a bathroom...