Going Nowhere Fast





Day 1: Breakdown (mentally and mechanically)

All was well with the world as I departed from NY and headed to New Jersey to meet my parents for a final breakfast together.  We hugged goodbye and Eyore and I climbed into Honey.  I'm not sure about him, but I was kind of freaking out now that this was real.  Now that I was actually doing what I had spoke about for so long.  So I blasted the music and powered towards Maryland, my first official stop - or so I thought.

First of all, I'm not sure if any of you can recall that one car on a two-lane road holding up traffic because even the tractor trails have to pass them, but I soon found out that I was that car.  At 55mph Honey pretty much starts to groan like your Pap trying to dislodge himself from the armchair after a Thanksgiving dinner.  Have you ever driven an entire trip without exceeding 55 mph?  If you have, you may have experienced, like me, an array of emotions in the following order: Anxiety over the people tailgating me, impatience, annoyance with the people tailgating me (it's not like you riding my ass is going to push me along faster), and finally, nonchalance (with the people tailgating me).  I realized I was going nowhere fast, so why bother thinking about my speed.  Little did I know I would be going a lot slower than even I had come to terms with.

I decided to hit the last service station in New Jersey so I could enjoy the act of others pumping my gas a final time.  I filled up, Eyore and I hit the bathrooms, and we were off towards Delaware.  Well about 30 minutes into the drive, I began smelling gas.  I thought maybe I was being paranoid or that it was coming from another vehicle, but alas when Eyore left to head to the back of the van and I became dizzy, I knew something was wrong.  So I pulled off at the next exit...which happened to be the direct entrance to the Dover Air Force Housing District.  I explained my plight to the armed guards and they allowed me to pull into the parking lot of their convenience shop.  At first I thought, well damn, one of these fine looking young men must know how to fix the problem - it was a major gas leak from a busted gas line.  But no.  Instead, as half my tank poured onto the asphalt and Eyore escaped his collar only to run into oncoming traffic with me hot on his heals, the men soon saw what a hot mess they just permitted to roll into their well manicured establishment.  So I had to go.  As we waited for the tow truck, Eyore cowered behind a trashcan where I held him tight.  The trashcan, however, sported a pancaked squirrel along its side (yes, you read correctly) which stared at us as the sun began to snooze.  I was eventually dropped off in the parking lot of a nearby auto shop.  Jesse, the tow truck driver, was beyond sweet and parked me under a light so I would feel more comfortable.  After some cleaning and settling, I realized that I was exhausted and hadn't eaten since breakfast.  So I had a twizzler (sorry mom).

Eyore and I slept under an open window to escape the lingering gas fumes and waited until morning.  Thanks to Chris and Heidi from RPM Automotive, I was on my way again to Maryland by 11 am the next morning.  Now, I write to you from a Starbucks in Maryland where I am less than an hour from my campsite.  Hopefully the worst - or at least some of it - is behind us and the rest of this vanventure is more relaxing!