I'm Going Through Changes

The last time I was in Colorado, I fell in love.  I fell in love with the mountains.  I fell in love with thesunsets.  I fell in love with who I was in this state which altered my own state of mind.  Perhaps I even fell in love with a young man.  A lot can change in a year.  Fourteen months later I find myself in the same campground where I experienced a first kiss.  My thoughts still race and my heart still second guesses.  I drive the same steep and winding roads with signs like “Don’t be fooled. 8 more miles of steep grades ahead,” yet this time I know how to shift gears.  This time is different.  

Cruise Control and Stretches
Today, I sat with my back against my bedroom wall and my feet pressed against Honey’s large hatchback door as the sun began to set over this Colorado lake.  The sound of children playing penetrated my screens and I couldn’t help but put down my book and watch what seemed to be a play of exquisite execution.  The first star stood 3 feet tall with shoulder length brown hair which she consistently brushed out of her face using her panda bear stuffed animal clutched tightly in her small hand. Her white and pink striped dress juxtaposed the dusty bare feet yet complimented her wails of agony as she moved throughout her neighboring vacant campsite AKA the stage.  Our second star stood 3 feet 3 inches with double braided light brown hair cinched just above her shoulders.  Her glasses and dark purple shirt set among the black pants and flip flops made it clear we were witnessing our other star’s foil.  As Pinky White screeched with each challenging rock, Pigtails stalked over and scooped up her counterpart to place her in a grassy destination.  I was stunned.  The love shared between such tiny people ran deeper than our scenic lake.  But the play did not end here.  Pinky White made the fatal decision to leave her Panda Bear on the picnic table while she attempted to return to her campsite.  Pigtails was not having it.  How could her best friend, her co-pilot, her 45 lb barefooted girly girl leave the expedition prematurely?!  She snatched the helpless Panda Bear and threatened to feed him to the bunnies they so desperately wanted to find.  “NoooOOOOoooOoOOO!” Pinky White screeched.  All memory of pain vanished as she charged towards Pigtails.  With the assistance of her flip-flops, Pigtails darted to their campsite and stuffed the Panda Bear through the door slot in triumph.  Pinky White stalked into the RV and slammed the screen door behind her.  It was clear Pigtails had crossed the line.  Yet before long, the double troubles were sharing a seat eating their ice cream sandwiches and taking the dogs for a walk into the sunset, the final act.

Eyore Bumping to The Yellow Submarine 8-Track
Love.  Children may know more than we do as adults.  This short scene unfolded in front of me only to reveal the secret to unconditional love:  Forgiveness. When Pigtails feared she was losing her favorite human, she turned spiteful in a last ditch effort to save the very thing she pushed away.  For most of us, the act ends here.  The spite, the hurt, the gut wrenching feeling of betrayal and suspicion drown out all hope for reconciliation.  And it makes sense.  We have been socialized far longer than these stars.  We bared witness to more pain and questioned more motives than any child has, but often it is our own vices that end something before it has the chance to take flight.  The stars of this show were not burdened with society’s woes.  They only saw the love they had for one another and quickly decided spending time together was far more important than holding any grudge.  Love.  Love may only be unconditional if forgiveness is a part of your vocabulary.  

Vail - Gore "Creek"


Popular Posts